Inside The Chart Of Sari Greenberg

If you're going to have a Twitter crush, it better be Sari.

Sari Greenberg is the only girl I know who pairs thirst traps (the kind that don’t even look thirsty) with sharp, poignant witticisms that live rent-free in your head. Bubbly, observant, and doe-eyed, she floats between intellect and internet fantasy like it’s her natural habitat. Her tweets read like inner monologues your remaining brain cells have felt, but simply couldn't configure—funny, incisive, and just vulnerable enough to keep you obsessed.

I blame her Gemini Moon, conjunct a confrontational, caffeinated Mars—she feels everything, has to turn emotion into action, and still manages to look hot while doing it. Mars in the 8th house alludes to the fact that she's making moves in secret, on a mission even if she appears elusive. And also, that men are obsessed with her.

There’s a precision to her, a calculated cheekiness. A sense that every outfit, insight, and micro-expression has been run through a Virgoan spellcheck and still comes out effortlessly iconic. Whether she’s deconstructing la troupes or posting a mirror pic that makes you rethink your entire lifestyle, Sari doesn’t just play the game—she’s a Virgo. She works at it.

The stereotype of Virgo is that they’re always striving for perfection, on a perpetual journey of self-improvement..often finding themselves in dynamics where they’re tasked with healing others. If that’s true, Sari seems to have found a healthy (and lucrative) outlet for this inner impulse. Proficient in EMS training, the futuristic workout that uses electrical pulses to activate your muscles and make you feel like you’ve done an hour at the gym in 20 minutes- she’s more high-frequency than high-maintenance.

Her North Node in Aquarius in the 3rd house of language suggests she’s got an instinctive ease with new inventions, as shes a trend-setter, always a little ahead of the curve. An independent producer and development exec in film and television, Sari applies her trend-forecasting abilities to the industry, bridging storytelling and strategy. She destined to write a revolutionary manifesto, or at the very least, an avant-garde film that goes viral for all the right reasons.

Proficient in tech, fluent in irony, and armed with a vocabulary that could slice through groupthink, Sari Greenberg is a linguistic local legend. We sat down with her to discuss dating and her birth chart.

Stars Align: Your vertex (a point in a natal chart signifying fate) is right next to your Mars (your physical body) Do you feel like you need to process emotions physically?

Sari: Absolutely. I’m an anxious person and I definitely FEEL my emotions physically. Also when I’m feeling really angry or upset it’s hard for me to put on a good face about it, in the moment I want people to know that I’m angry, if that makes sense. It’s something I’m working on. It’s unfortunately true that the body keeps the score.

Stars Align: Do you feel like you show up in people’s lives like the fairy godmother of their somatic transformation?

Sari: Yes. I will not elaborate.

Stars Align: You seem to read people instantly. Is that something you’ve always been able to do? What tends to jump out at you first?

Sari: I think I have a good intuition about people. I love making new friends so I’m constantly letting new people into my life. Everyone out here is faking it until they make it- it’s true, everyone is insecure, it’s about figuring out who is insincere. I’ve found out the hard way before but I think I clock certain red flags in people before others.

Stars Align: Your chart suggests you’re extremely disciplined even in ways that aren’t visible from the outside. What are some routines or regimens you’re into right now?

Sari: I’m obsessed with routine, it really grounds me. I think it’s why I got really into fitness, because I love routine so much. I work out 5 days a week, I do EMS on myself 3 times a week and go to the gym to lift twice a week. I try to take my dog for a really long walk everyday. I’d like to add another lifting day but I try to give myself some grace.

Stars Align: You have a dry, direct, and disarmingly funny way of speaking. Where does that come from?

Sari: I think growing up I used humor to mask, I was a clinically depressed kid on SSRIs and it helped me express my feelings safely. It’s just part of me now.I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, I can’t help it. I value honesty so I figure other people do as well. It gets me into trouble a lot though.

Stars Align: Your Venus is in Virgo. Do you feel like love is something you’re always refining? Or that affection shows up more in acts of service than big displays?

Sari: Yes and yes. I’m a Virgo to my core. Love for me is a verb.

Stars Align: Talk to me about EMS. How did you discover it, how does it work?

Sari: I did it with a friend in New York and loved it instantly. I immediately reach out to The Studio EMS and asked if they had any job openings and they had one in East LA so it felt pretty meant to be.You get strapped into a suit and electrodes send low-frequency electrical impulses through your muscles. It’s a 20 minute workout and the equivalent of 2-3 hours in the gym, the best sweat of your life guaranteed. As an added bonus it boosts lymphatic drainage.

Stars Align: Is there a piece of tech, media, or storytelling you’re obsessed with right now?

Sari: I wish I had an intellectual answer to this but the only thing keeping me sane right now are videos of tiny chihuahuas eating steak on TikTok. And The Valley on Bravo.

Stars Align: What was your first favorite movie?

Sari: Probably Drop Dead Gorgeous and Josie and the Pussycat Dolls. I love movies about young women. I had a little portable DVD player I would take on long car trips and watch movies in bed. I had a massive DVD collection, I really loved collecting things growing up. I think I need to tap back into that. Did I just dramatically age myself?

Stars Align: Most unhinged take?

Sari: No one respects anyone’s time anymore, it drives me crazy. I think if you’re meeting someone for dinner or drinks, anything with a set time, there should be a 7 minute grace period for being late, after that the other person should owe an extra dollar of the bill for each additional minute they are late.Unless it’s a date, I will not pay on a date so don’t be late either way.

Stars Align: Is there a particular sign you always seem to attract?

Sari: I don’t know relationship-wise but friendship-wise I have so many Gemini friends. Everyone is having their birthday right now!

Stars Align: Ideal date or worst date in LA?

Sari: Ideal date I plan nothing, you read my mind make the reservation at a place I like without me having to ask. I love doing some type of activity during the day and then hearing “I made us a reservation for dinner later”. That’s so hot. Reservations are my love language.Worst date something small annoys me and I spend the rest of the night being a bitch because I don’t want to say to someone’s face “I’m sorry I’m not feeling this.” But I also don’t want them to order another drink. Am I a bad person?

Stars Align: Drop your beauty regime.

Sari: It’s so long, this could be it’s own interview. I will just say my most important product is a prescription retinoid. Also I swear by the Nu Face, that’s my holy grail product. I get asked if I have cheek filler all the time and I don’t, I swear it’s from the Nu Face.

Stars Align: Guilty pleasure?

Sari: Bed rotting/ couch rotting, I could do nothing for hours. I love a phone game. My friends are always making fun of me for playing phone games.Also I love the agony in pining after someone, does that count?

Stars Align: How do you handle heartbreak or rejection? Or are you usually the one dishing it out?

Sari: Right now I’m kind of the one dishing it out. I have a really rich social life and I’m currently prioritizing that over dating. Sorry to anyone I’ve ghosted recently.

Stars Align: If you could change one thing about the way people in LA relate, what would it be?

Sari: I am so guilty of this but hiding behind the phone in terms of dating. No one has the courage to hit on anyone in person anymore! Everyone is so scared of rejection. When I’m in New York there’s this sexy energy that feels electric that just doesn’t exist in LA, or maybe I haven’t found it.Also put your phone away at the movie theater, it’s our last sacred space.

Stars Align: Favorite LA spots?

Sari: I could talk about this for hours and rate spots based on what vibe I’m looking for that night but I won’t. Instead I will say: If you are a restaurant or bar in the Silverlake/ Echo Park area GET A FUCKING LIQUOR LICENSE. Enough with these spots that just have wine, I want a cocktail!Ok I kind of went off track but I love an old Hollywood institution like The Chateau, Musso and Frank, Smokehouse, The Sunset Tower. When I first moved to LA from New York I was trying to recreate what I love about New York here, but you can’t do that. I love LA for it’s history and spots like these.

Stars Align: Clean up any misconceptions people have about Virgos

Sari: Unfortunately I cannot. Everything they say about us is true.

Stars Align: I feel like when you date, you devote yourself to someone but you need to make sure it's safe first. You are a realist, would you agree? Were you always like that?Sari: You’re so right and you’ve clocked me so hard. Pretty much all of my significant relationships have started as friendships. I have a lot of trouble dating someone if that foundation doesn’t exist first. I need to be able to get to know someone without the pressures of dating to figure out what I actually want.I’m definitely a realist, I get accused of being cynical but I don’t necessarily think I am. It’s one of my most Virgo traits, I’m always the friend who isn’t afraid to say it like it is. And yes I’ve always been like this. I think it’s also because I’m Jewish, anxiety about the future, which I convey as realism, is a very Jewish trait.

Stars Align: Is there an LA neighborhood or place that feels like your romantic karma lives there?

Sari: In a Spanish-style home in the Los Feliz Hills. I am manifesting. It’s probably the Americana though.

Stars Align: Talk to me about any exciting projects that aren’t super top-secret

Sari: I can’t right now but very soon, watch this space :)

Stars Align: Where can we find you?

Sari: I am @peace_love_rootbeerfloat on Instagram and @erewhonsmoothie on Twitter. You can book a workout through @thestudioems, ask for Sari.